Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Great Canon

Last night we were able to attend the first night of the Great Canon. Tikhon was able to come as well. He did not make it to Forgiveness Vespers so I was eager to have him with us last night.

Here I write about my fast. Please remember this is my journal as a catechumen.

After a day of fasting, I was consumed with a desire to go back to the church. I felt that if I could just be there, I would feel better. My feeling was correct. It was also very strange. I have never been so distracted during a service. I didn't feel hunger, but the strangest thoughts kept popping into my mind. Ridiculous thoughts. I pushed them away, but they returned stranger than before. At the end of the service I sat in a chair with Martin in arms, and finally felt some peace in my mind. What connection could this have to the fast, and will it get better? I felt removed from the service.

"Christ became man, calling to repentance thieves and harlots.  Repent, my soul: the door of the Kingdom is already open, and Pharisees and publicans and adulterers pass through it before thee, changing their life."

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