Saturday, March 24, 2012
thoughts about turning seasons
There is so much goodness in the seasons of the Church. I have felt it all this year even though I barely comprehend.
Sometimes I am tempted to feel exhausted by the momentum of it all. The incredible wonder of the Church, how can it happen again and again and always? My mind rails against the way the seasons make me aware of my mortality, of my delusions. It is just a temptation... I feel it's edge occasionally. I know to turn away from the thoughts when they come up. For a moment, though, I wonder how Father can stand it, or others around me. The notion of the Feast figures like a Siren in my mind. It will lure us all and we'll go overboard, you'll see.
I know I should let go and go overboard. It doesn't have to make sense.
Every day is Nativity, every day is Lent, every day is Pascha.