Thursday, May 31, 2012

Running, Prayer Life

I am still running. Maybe I never mentioned that here. I have been running early in the morning. Karl wakes me when it is still dark and I run, in my pajamas, with no coffee. When I return I am sweaty and slightly more awake than before. It is goo to start so early and begin the day with a workout. I only run a mile or a mile and a half. When I don't run I feel badly. While I am running, I pray.

I don't have my prayers all memorised. The common ones, yes. But there are many and I can't commit them to memory for some reason. While I run I repeat the ones I do know.

Recently, I used an app on my iPad to record myself saying my morning prayers. I hope to put them on an iPod and listen to them in the morning while I do other things. I am thinking that if I can incorporate saying them form memory into my life, I can pray my rule while I run in the dark of the morning. When I don't complete my prayers it is always for some reason like, the ids are awake and hungry and crying, there is no peace or quiet. In the night when I skip them it is because everyone is needing me, the boys won't go to bed without me and then I fall asleep too, putting them to sleep. If I had the evening prayers to recorded, I could listen and speak along with them even while I fell asleep.

I know this would not be keeping the rule Father gave me, because I should find the time to devote to prayer and prayer alone. Until I find the time (wherever it is...) memorising my prayers can help me use what peaceful time I do have (running, getting to bed) for prayer.

It is funny to hear my voice reading the prayers.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Seasons, again

I have been posting at the homeschool blog again, building up to a beginning. We thought we might take the summer off but instead we took the spring off. Now we are beginning a new round of curriculum. Yesterday I laid week 1 out on the bed to familiarise myself with the resources.

This Thursday, Ascension, marks an important anniversary for us. Last Ascension I took the kids to church with me and left Karl at home sick in bed, thinking it would give him more rest. When I came home, the ambulance was loading him up and the long summer began.

 Here we are, a year later, and Karl with us.  There were many days last summer full of doubt that we would be here.

Ascension is also important to us because it marks our 40th day post-Baptism.

I am still amazed that happened. I am still counting the times I approach the chalice.

At the same time, I am feeling less and less worthy of that approach. I feel like I should prepare a confession and let go of the failure of my post-Baptismal 40 days.

Monday, May 14, 2012

candle day

We made our candles with the parish today. Tristan and Kassi were quite helpful.

At first it seemed I would not be helpful myself because the younger boys were not co-operating. Then they settled in and with the help of another mama friend, whose older kids helped while she cared for her 1 year old, I was able to be useful.

We make candles with equipment that is one-of-a-kind. It was designed in Rhode Island for Father. This does not surprise me.

What surprises me is how there is no place I would rather be than  Saint Nicholas parish.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Buying a House, Prayers for a sign

We have been preparing to buy a house for months, and we are finally pre-approved and ready to put in offers. This has been a long wait and lots of work.

Now that we're ready, we find there is not a house ready for us! We are praying to know when and where to buy, and ask for your prayers too.

We are focusing on staying in Alameda where we currently rent. I have reached out to many people asking for prayers and for information should they know of anyone selling a house here. This is such a stressful time, falling very near to the one year anniversary of Karl's illness. I hope that once we make this move and have a home, we can settle into a new period of peaceful normalcy in our lives.

Blessed Xenia, pray to God for us!

Monday, May 7, 2012

A poem from the homily

Blessing, by John O’Donohue

blessed be the longing that brought you here and quickens your soul with wonder.
 may you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire that disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.
may you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease to discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.
may the forms of your belonging - in love, creativity, and friendship - be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.
may the one you long for long for you.
may your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.
may a secret providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.
may your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.
may your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.
may you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.
may you know the urgency with which God longs for you.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Saint Tabitha, today

Today my name was read in church; how vividly I remember last year

From Saint Tabitha, the widow raised from the dead by the Apostle Peter, was a virtuous and kindly woman, belonged to the Christian community in Joppa. Being grievously ill, she suddenly died. At the time, the Apostle Peter was preaching at Lydda, not far from Joppa. Messengers were sent to him with an urgent request for help. When the Apostle arrived at Joppa, Tabitha was already dead. On bended knee, St Peter made a fervent prayer to the Lord. Then he went to the bed and called out, "Tabitha, get up!" She arose, completely healed (Acts 9:36). 

St Tabitha is considered the patron saint of tailors and seamstresses, since she was known for sewing coats and other garments (Acts 9:39).
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